As I go to more meetings, I hear how many other people hated themselves. I hear about not being able to look in the mirror, the self loathing and the suicide attempts. Previously, I felt like I was alone in these experiences. I am learning I am not unique there.
Now my confidence is starting to grow and I am learning to love myself again, but I still have such negative thoughts about myself. Why did I spend so long drinking and wasting my life? Why did I let myself go? Why did I gain all this weight? Am I a good enough mother? Am I a good enough spouse? Am I a good enough person?
This is one of those days. I need to let go. I need to say goodbye to the “stinkin’ thinkin'”. I am unique but not because of my negative attributes or negative experiences. I am unique because of me as a whole. So I will walk through the rest of the day repeating one thing I learned in yoga. Breathe in self love. Breathe out self doubt.