I just got home from a meeting, where I finally got my 4 month chip (yay!). It was a really good meeting. It was small, but everyone was really friendly. I was asked to read, which I did nervously. Then as the speaker was sharing his experience a familiar face walked in the door. I looked at this man realizing that I know him. He had lost quite a bit of weight, but I know I knew him from somewhere. Where did I know him from?
I was put on the spot and asked to share second while my head was just filing through the people I have met in my life. I spilled out some ramblings, which probably made no sense to anyone. I couldn’t really tell you because I can’t really remember what I said. I was that distracted.
Then it hit me. He was a bartender at a bar I used to get stupid drunk at in my early and mid twenties. I had actually ended up being banned from that bar. Classy huh?! I immediately felt really embarrassed, self conscious and uncomfortable. I wanted out of the meeting. But then I calmed myself down and thought, why am I feeling this way. I mean, he is here too. I can’t imagine everything has been peaches and cream for him or else he wouldn’t have been there. Plus, he probably isn’t judging me for being there. Come to find out he is new to the program. Maybe I can introduce him to some of the guys I have met.
Anyway, another lesson learned today. There is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed of being an alcoholic. I was born this way. I did not ask for this disease. I am doing something about being an alcoholic. That is something to feel good about. The cycle has stopped ( for good, God willing).