I want to feel different

I just need to get this out since I cannot get to a meeting. I want to be fucked up. Not necessarily drinking. I just want to not be sober. I have no idea why. Nothing bad or stressful is happening. I am not too in my head. I just feel uneasy. Like I could jump out of my own skin.

I am not going to drink or anything else. My husband is fully aware of how I am feeling. I just had to get that out.


4 thoughts on “I want to feel different

  1. I understand. I have that feeling now and then. Had it a lot when I was early in recovery. It was, in retrospect, not feeling completely comfortable with myself. I was still this kid with growing pains…but these are of the mental and emotional. Usually talking about it, or reading, or praying / meditating helped me with it. But it does take time, and there is no magic bullet that I know of…that is what recovery is all about…learning to deal with these and other feeling that we used to bury with booze.

    You’re doing great 🙂


    • Thank you Paul. It was just an off day. I feel better in that I don’t feel like drinking today. I know that feeling will come again but there is great comfort in knowing there are people out there like you that I can talk to 🙂

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