Relief Seeking Missile

I heard this phrase in a meeting tonight. Describes me to a T. I’m sure it describes many other alcoholics, if not all of them. My drinking years, almost 20 years of them, were filled with this need to feel relief. The nervousness and anxiety was ever present. Alcohol was the main source of relief, which in turn created even more anxiety and depression. Sick cycle.

I am grateful that today I do not wake up thinking about when I can drink next. I am grateful that when 7 pm rolls around my skin is not crawling and I am insanely agitated. I, of course, am not free with the urge to drink. It happens from time to time and will for the rest of my life. But I am learning tools to cope. I am learning options to get through the times of seeking relief. For this I am eternally grateful. I no longer have to take the path of self destruction to calm the relief seeking missile that I am.

I feel blessed.


2 thoughts on “Relief Seeking Missile

  1. How funny you posted this today- I shared last night at my AA meeting about the need for relief, constantly seeking it throughout my life and drink being just one way of getting it.

    Last night, I’d had a hard day at work and was walking out of the building when I anticipated an overwhelming sense of relief, but this time it wasn’t coming from thinking about a future glass of wine, but a future AA meeting that I was on my way to.

    So I too feel blessed to have woken up sober, happy and in control. The cravings are lessening, the joy increasing. Long may we be happy, sober, missiles of positivity and good 🙂

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