Have a wonderful day everyone!!!!
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
― Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
I would never describe myself as strong. I can cry much more easily than the average Joe. Forgiving has been a self preservation skill I learned from an early age. My mother and brother were abusive towards me, verbally, mentally and physically. I realized after every uproar that if I did not quickly forgive and forget (purely in my head, they have not and will not apologize for anything) and apologize, worse things would come down the road. From years of this, it has become far too easy for me to forgive and even take the blame. So maybe my idea of forgiveness is askew.
What’s bad is I expect everyone else to be able to forgive as easily. That obviously has not been the case. Throughout my drinking, I did a lot of bad things. Some people have forgiven me, others have not. I have noticed one thing about those who did. They all are strong individuals.
As I am on my fourth step, now is a good time to reevaluate my idea of forgiveness. Saying it’s ok is not it. For me to forgive, it means really letting go of any anger I hold relating to it. This is not easy. I think this is definitely going to take some time.
“Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it.”
“We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home.”
Australian Aboriginal Proverb
As I woke up to snow (finally!), I was just admiring the beauty of it. Anyone can admit snow is beautiful. I thought of this proverb. So beautiful too!
“There is no failure except in no longer trying.”
I am feeling very defeated today. My head has been hurting all day, and I have been exhausted. I feel mentally drained. It’s days like this that made me give up so many times in the past. I used to have a lot of days like this. It was overwhelming. I have strength now. I know tomorrow will be different. I will never give up again.
“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.”
I love my family! I just walked in to our bedroom and saw Matt and Aiden taking a nap together. Just about the sweetest thing in the world to me.